Thanks for subscribing! Look out for your first newsletter in your inbox soon! Sign up to our newsletter for the latest and greatest from your city and beyond. By entering your email address you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receive emails from Time Out about news, events, offers and partner promotions. You're not going to be thrown in jail for a public smooch, but you may want to avoid this cultural faux pas anyway.
The first time I tried to kiss my husband, he went in for a hug and awkwardly stroked my head instead. Back then, we had only been dating for a couple of weeks and were living in America. He was a Japanese exchange student and I was the outgoing Texan girl who offered to show him around our college campus because I thought his butt looked cute. It worked. We started dating and moved to Tokyo together one year later. While some countries have laws against PDA, Japan more or less relies on social shame and disapproving glares to make sure everyone keeps their hands in their own pockets in public.
Expats living here sometimes complain that Japanese people are emotionally repressed. However, rather than ethnocentrically judging another because they express their emotions in a different, subtler way, keep in mind that Japan has some significant cultural differences.
Both times I outlined what I thought was acceptable, he countered with a much lower offer, and we met somewhere in the middle. Quick kisses were okay, but no tongue. No kissing in front of his friends, co-workers, or family, but he should kiss me in front of my non- Japanese friends and family in Texas. Learn the difference. You might disagree about key cultural issues because you were each raised with differences that manifest in unexpected ways.
You have a large kissing-inspired elephant in the room. But do you know what also sucks? Holding hands is okay. Try to avoid snuggling up on a public bench, in queues or at restaurants. Keep the butterfly kisses, pecks on the cheek and smooches for behind closed doors. Sorry if this takes the romance out of your honeymoon in Tokyo, but at least you have a world of sex shops and love hotels to make up for it About us.
